Here are two quotes from people I have spoken to in the last few days –
“I think I undervalue myself”, “I will only be happy with someone else when I am able to be happy with myself”.
While these two statements are related to different issues the base issue is still the same. That is being comfortable with yourself and accepting yourself for who you are. I struggle in this area and I am really critical of both myself and my performance. I have had to develop methods for dealing with self-negativity and I happily share them with you here.
- Blog. This is my primary method of keeping sane. Oprah Winfrey for years promoted the idea of using a journal to record one’s thoughts and developments. Well this is my journal and record of development. It just happens to be completely open to the public.
- Keep a record. With my training for running I keep a diary of my sessions and track my development across the days, weeks and months. I do this as well with my job. In my desk is a folder where I keep important or rewarding documents across a year. In my folder I have letters of affirmation, performance appraisal reports as well as other prompts. Such prompts include pictures of famous people who inspire me and scenes from movies that speak to me (The Godfather being one of them).
- Hobbies. One reason I enjoy running is that I have a challenge before me every day of the week. On the days that I run I have a clear goal to achieve and on the days I am not running the goal is – NOT to run!
Those are the ‘hard’ systems I use. I also engage in ‘soft’ systems as well. One of those is the use of affirmations. The internal conversations that you have with yourself can either propel you forward or ensure you stay stuck. One affirmation that I highly recommend is by Zig Ziglar. Here it is here -
"I, ......................... am a person with integrity, a great attitude, and specific goals. I have a high energy level, am enthusiastic, and take pride in my appearance and what I do. I have a sense of humor, lots of faith, wisdom, and the vision and courage to use my talents effectively.
I have character, and am a smart, talented person. My beliefs are strong, and I have a healthy self-image, a passion for what is right, and a solid hope for the future. I am an honest, sincere, and hard-working. I am tough, but fair and sensitive. I am disciplined, motivated, and focused. I am a good listener and am very patient. I am an encourager, a good-finder, and a forgiving person. I am caring, unselfish, and committed to doing the right thing.
I am family oriented, open minded, and an excellent communicator. I am a student, a teacher, and a self starter. I am obedient, loyal, responsible, and dependable. I have a servant's heart, am ambitious and a team player. I am personable, optimistic and organized. I am consistent, considerate, and resourceful.
I am intelligent, competent, persistent and creative. I am health conscious, balanced and clean. I am flexible, punctual and thrifty.
I am an honorable person who is truly grateful for the opportunity life has given me. These are the qualities of the winner I WAS BORN TO BE, and I fully intend to develop these marvelous qualities with which I have been entrusted by God.
Tonight I am going to sleep wonderfully well. I will dream powerful, positive dreams. I will awaken energized and refreshed, and tomorrow's going to be magnificent.
God, my family and my true friends love me no matter what!"
Feel free to change any bits that you don’t consider to be relevant to you. You could also write your own affirmation that is more specific to you.
Recommended action steps –
1. Start a journal or blog.
2. Complete a healthy self assessment of yourself and start researching what development options are available for you to start to progress.
3. Use affirmations.
4. Read the book Linchpin by Seth Godin.