Thursday, March 5, 2009


What does is mean to be truly sorry - and can anyone ever really be?

What does God expect/want/ask for?


1. caused by or showing sincere remorse.
2. filled with a sense of guilt and the desire for atonement; penitent: a contrite sinner.

How do we know when we are really being contrite? Can we be truly repentant? Does our behavior actually change after we ask for forgiveness?

I think the best picture of this that I have ever seen was in a movie called Afterglow. Right at the end of the movie the main character reaps what she sowed, and all the viewer can see is her screaming in pain. She knows what she has done, and is expressing remorse for her actions.

There is no sound - just a picture of her screaming.

Some days - that's exactly how I feel.

Screaming for repentance but no sound.

But does He hear me? Of course.

Does He forgive me? Yes.

Do I change? Maybe...

Monday, March 2, 2009

Life, Events and Destiny

What happens to us in this lifetime is not entirely predetermined. If the omnipotent God were in total control of every tiny aspect of what we do, e would be incedibly boing/bored.

Is He even interested? I say probably. But I am not totally convinced that He sets up events in specific ways for us to have to deal wth them. It makes no sense. Yes Job had to go through 'hell', but I still think that story is metaphorical rather than literal.

If we live our lives with the knowledge that we are saved, and salvation began when Jesus Christ took over, then the everyday situations we face are insignificant in the big scheme of things.

I'm thinking that maybe alot of what we do doesn't matter at the end of the day. And the stuff that we may think doesn;t matter, actually has long lasting impact on both ourselves and on others as well.

it is quite a paradoxical situation and condition.

But then again, what do I know?

Sunday, March 1, 2009


Does living with the knowledge that salvation is secure remove or lower the responsibility of the believer in regards to their behavior?

Romans 7 and 8 clearly deals with this issue. Paul states emphatically - no.

BUT - the believer must also be able to live in 'the rest'. It doesn't have to be hard!

This is the area where I always struggled, and often this brought on bouts of depression and made my failings into a viscous circle.

I now am at rest and am peaceful about my life. I am not struggling with bad feelings or constantly keeping an eye out for the judge. Neither do I spend each day wondering amourous thoughts about God. I am just not that kind of person.

What I do do is - live my life. What else is there? Take it easy, kicj back and enjoy life - because that is what it is for.

If life is one constant drama and you keep jumping from one batllefield to another - whats te point? Chill out, read the bible as it is written, and just rest.
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